thinking of you

tomorrow i'll look back on myself as a fool
i always knew the truth, but as you move along
i need to sit and remember for a minute
why i throw away reason when love may be found
and love is reasonably fleeting
why do i suffer in a muddy crossroads
a closed-eye fantasy of your face
while i've lost you to another sidewalk
an open-eyed wish to be there with you
a stupid wish, i always knew the truth
tomorrow i'll look back on myself as a fool
but i need to sit here and remember for a minute.

An Excerpt from "FUCK U EUGEN" from the Journal of Jessica Weiss, from the weekend of Aug 9th, 2013

After waiting all weekend to get you alone I couldn't say those three words. Not if there was never anything in return. Love is what we make it and I'm over the realm of fabrication. Our pathways are not the same because our roads may overlap, we must both choose the same direction, and I simply cannot follow you if you don't bring me along. Idealizing what we could be and where we could take each other has only left me heartbroken once again for what seems like a foolish dream of unconditional emotional surrender.

 

I will post more personal and provocative entries when there are enough comments, traffic, and requests to merit sharing the deeper confines of my journal.  There will be no supply without demand ;)

September 8, 2012

Help me navigate my mind, up, below and through
Take me on a journey 'cause I wanna go with you
We can remember all the truth reality clouds up
We can draw, write, socialize, or play with a pup

I may want to avoid and steer away from a darker spot
Take me everywhere 'cause i want everything you've got
Let me feel a little bit of every thing you've felt
I want to stretch my thoughts until they all begin to melt

I cannot disregard the mistakes I have made
Wish I could inhale until they all decided to fade
I want to erase memories but need to set it right
I cannot avoid her, must face the monster in the night

My face is lost I'll pick one up tomorrow
They've all been taken so I'll have to examine and borrow
Patterns, shapes and thoughts cascading, they all seem to rhyme
Nothing but the present is relevant at this time

I know what you're thinking, you'll always return
To that place where you want to forget how to learn
But there, and you know well, it will eat you alive
Literally, before help for yourself can arrive

So if I had a desire to take all of this on for a while
Would you go with me and show me in style?
And when i decide to get back on track
Please return with me never go back.
You know you want to say yes, so just do
The only one steering your spaceship is you
Know that there's more than just one way to be
So give up the bullshit and find peace with me.

There Is Some Thing We Cannot See

By every one's perspective
There is some thing we cannot see
Everyone Knows its greatness
To be greater than words
And every one interprets it differently
One may believe intensely in it
Or brush it aside
They may call it god
They may call it alien
The great Knowledge
Some respect it
Others worship it
Some seek its power
Still others deny it
Everyone Knows its greatness
To be greater than words
By every one's perspective
There is some thing we cannot see

the scope

an endless black hole for a pupil
surrounded by a fiery yellow sun
and waves of blue sky in a circle
upon close inspection can be seen
scattered red branches stretched long, like veins
all in an opalescent-white orb
and with her identical sister
they narrowed in a certain, clear way
opening to everything

An Exerpt from the Diary of July 26

Why do I miss you, constantly
What is it that makes me lust?
You are not ideal in any form-
But for the fact that I love you.



I will post more personal and provocative entries when there are enough comments, traffic, and requests to merit sharing the deeper confines of my journal.  There will be no supply without demand ;)

Rebellion

To be plagued by current affairs
is remembering the inescapable harshness of reality
We do not live in a simple world.
The tactics of mass control
are chaotically argued
as a great population
is thrown into
questions,
consumerism,
and rebellion.